Today I am going to point you back to the last four weeks of blog posts and videos about saying “No”.
Maybe you missed all of them or didn’t have time to read or watch each one. Here they are again for you to review. There are four key messages in the posts that I want to make sure you get.
Key Messages about saying "No"
Check back in August for my four part series on cleansing. No, it won’t be about drinking lots of weird fruit juice. It will be about cleaning your office, your calendar, your email and your briefcase. August is typically a slower time for most people. It might be time for you to do a bit of “spring cleaning” of your workspaces.
So you've said "No" but...
It is hard to stick to your "No" sometimes. You get it out and then you second guess yourself or you get pressure from others to go back to a "maybe" or an "OK, I'll do it". Yet in your heart, you know you need to stick to the "No". The question is, how do you do it? How do you say "No" and then stick to it?
Here are three tips to help you to stick to your "No".
Watch where you go
Whenever possible don't put yourself back in the place where you have to defend your "No". Don't be the one to bring the subject up again. Don't come back to your boss and apologize for saying "No". Don't instigate a conversation.
Do what you said you were going to do. Do the other work that really does require your focused attention. Do leave when you need to leave work to balance out life and family. Do take care of yourself.
Rally the troups
Who is on your side? Look around you. Who agrees with you that it's a good idea to say "No"?
Is it your team? Your peers? Your family? Your doctor? Your kids? Your best friend? These are the people that are on your side. When you feel yourself waning and considering going back on your "No", lean into this supportive group of people. Send your friend a text and say "tell me I'm crazy if I change my mind". If she's a good friend, she will tell you not to change your mind. Pick up the phone and hear your spouse's voice. It will remind you why more balance is important. Walk into your co-workers office and ask to simply vent and get it off your chest.
This support group will give you the motivation and encouragement you need to be strong. If you don't have this kind of support, start looking for it. Perhaps there are peers outside of the organization that you know that you can lean on for a bit of support. Watch the rest videos here on saying "No" for more motivation. Find other supports. Use your EAP program to access supports. Find a Leadership Coach to help you get through some tough times.
Stick to your "No", you know you need to!
The bottom line is that your overload and overwhelm is causing you stress, relationship problems, health issues and a feeling of always ready to drop something. If you continue to say yes to everything, you will drop something. It may be something really, really important.
Step back now and then and take a look at what is going in your life and practice saying "No" a bit more often!
Getting clear on your "No"
Last week I talked about how to say "No". Review that blog first if you didn't get a chance to read it and watch the video. It is important to get it down so that you feel relatively comfortable about what you are saying "No" to and practice saying “No”.
Are you getting pushback on your "No"
Possibly you have said "No", and you are getting push back. Your boss says, basically, you can't say "No". Perhaps they didn't hear you or maybe they didn’t hear you correctly. Maybe they did hear you and don't believe you. They don’t believe you really mean it. At any rate, here is how to handle these situations.
The 3 R's of making "No" mean "No"
I'm on your side
It is probably hard for you to say “No” the first time around. Having to do it a second time will be even harder. I’m rooting for you to do it. I know you need less on your plate so that you can move towards more balance in your life.
I've been rambling lately about the need to say "No" more often. On my blog and on my YouTube channel last week, I suggested that it's not that you can't do your work because you are disorganized or unskilled, it is because likely, you like many other leaders, literally have too much to do.
This week, I am helping you learn how to actually say no more often. It's not easy, I know. I suspect though that you are maybe just a bit are like me. Perhaps you want to change the culture of organizations from that of overloaded and overwhelmed to one of mindfully doing our work well. If so, you need to say "No" more often.
How do you say "No" more often?
Get clear that you are ready to say no to some things. Go into conversations, meeting, and days with the intention of saying "No". If you go in wishy washy, thinking, "I'll see how it goes", you will end up with more work on your plate.
If instead you are intentional about saying "No", you will energetically be at that place. That is the best place to be to actually say it.
Know what it is you are saying "No" to
Get really clear. Know what it is you are saying "No" to. Are you saying "No" to sitting on the board or "No" to this meeting on this day? It is vital that you know in your own mind what you are saying "No" to so that you can not only feel it, but so that you can articulate it to others.
Practice, practice, practice
I can't state this enough. Practice, practice, practice. Just like a musician practices a song over and over before they play in front of a crowd, you will need to practice what your going to say and how you will say it before you get into the situation.
Getting ready to say "No" ahead of time will allow you to be more confident when it comes time to saying it and coming across clear and determined. It will also leave you with a more manageable workload on your plate!
Listen here for more motivation to say "No" more often
I lead a full life full of love, adventure and growth. Check out my latest thoughts here.
Sign up for my newsletter here!
Want to follow my blog?
Click the RSS feed below and follow the instructions. That way, you won't miss any updates!