So you've said "No" but...
It is hard to stick to your "No" sometimes. You get it out and then you second guess yourself or you get pressure from others to go back to a "maybe" or an "OK, I'll do it". Yet in your heart, you know you need to stick to the "No". The question is, how do you do it? How do you say "No" and then stick to it?
Here are three tips to help you to stick to your "No".
Watch where you go
Whenever possible don't put yourself back in the place where you have to defend your "No". Don't be the one to bring the subject up again. Don't come back to your boss and apologize for saying "No". Don't instigate a conversation.
Do what you said you were going to do. Do the other work that really does require your focused attention. Do leave when you need to leave work to balance out life and family. Do take care of yourself.
Rally the troups
Who is on your side? Look around you. Who agrees with you that it's a good idea to say "No"?
Is it your team? Your peers? Your family? Your doctor? Your kids? Your best friend? These are the people that are on your side. When you feel yourself waning and considering going back on your "No", lean into this supportive group of people. Send your friend a text and say "tell me I'm crazy if I change my mind". If she's a good friend, she will tell you not to change your mind. Pick up the phone and hear your spouse's voice. It will remind you why more balance is important. Walk into your co-workers office and ask to simply vent and get it off your chest.
This support group will give you the motivation and encouragement you need to be strong. If you don't have this kind of support, start looking for it. Perhaps there are peers outside of the organization that you know that you can lean on for a bit of support. Watch the rest videos here on saying "No" for more motivation. Find other supports. Use your EAP program to access supports. Find a Leadership Coach to help you get through some tough times.
Stick to your "No", you know you need to!
The bottom line is that your overload and overwhelm is causing you stress, relationship problems, health issues and a feeling of always ready to drop something. If you continue to say yes to everything, you will drop something. It may be something really, really important.
Step back now and then and take a look at what is going in your life and practice saying "No" a bit more often!
I lead a full life full of love, adventure and growth. Check out my latest thoughts here.
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