Kathy Archer Leadership Development Coach
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Kathy's Blog

You need to STOP practicing this now

7/11/2019

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How Practice Builds Leadership Confidence

 

What are you trying to get better at or improve in your leadership? I know you are just trying to survive today or this week. But think beyond that for a moment. ​
Where do you want to feel more confident as a leader?
What would you like to get better at dealing with, tackling or taking on? ​ ​
Let me tell you a secret: Confidence starts with competence 
Become a confident women leader
Do you want to feel confident managing your workload?
Maybe you feel utterly incapable of managing your workload. You doubt you can handle getting to some of the critical tasks and fear you'll forget something important. What you desire is to feel confident to manage what you are tasked with promptly.
️So you practice. But what are you practicing?
​My guess is here is where you get it ❌wrong. 
You keep practicing
✖️Putting out fires
✖️Dealing with emergencies
✖️Being too available to too many people. 
✖️Using your most productive times to answer emails. 
✖️Pushing through when your mind is mush, and your body is weary, a state that will never produce high-quality work. 
Practice builds confidence,
but only if you are practicing the right things. 
✅Practice this instead:
To learn to manage your workload, you need to practice building your willpower to set boundaries, focus on what's really important and resist the urge to head over to your email again because you don't want to deal with the tough conversation down the hall.

‍Do you want to feel confident in managing your emotions?
You may also want to feel more confident at managing your emotions during tough meetings. You want to learn how to manage them and be in control of your emotions instead of your emotions being in control of you.
️Then, you need to practice managing your emotions.
You are practicing the ❌wrong thing
Here is where you get it wrong. Instead of practicing managing your emotions, you practice shutting them off. 
When you pray to be able to leave your emotions at the door, that's what you keep practicing. Instead of praciting to manage your emotions, you are trying to perfect the art of shutting your emotions off` That's never going to work!?‍♀️
You will keep failing miserably at managing your emotions
​because you aren't practicing that skill!
​✅Practice this instead
You need to practice managing your emotions outside of the arena, court or playing field. Don't wait until the "big day" to learn how to do it. Success doesn't work that way. You need to find a more relaxed and safer place to practice managing your emotions. 

I use the Inner Guidance Cycle to manage my emotions
Sometimes I'll feel something bubbling up. Instead of trying to push it away, I find a safe time and place to explore what's there. 
  • If I'm out and about, that might be finding a place to do a little PAUSE, such as in my vehicle or a public washroom.
  • I PONDER by exploring my thoughts, feelings and body sensations. I know that if I can name it, the emotion, I can tame it. 
  • Once I've got a handle on my emotion, that allows the confidence to build. I'll often say to myself: I've got this!! I'm PIVOTING from feeling incapable of managing my feelings, to feeling more confident that I've got the emotional control I desire. 
  • After that, I can PROCEED back into the meeting, conversation or activity with the confidence that I'm in emotional control.


A mindfulness practice has built my confidence to manage my emotions
The REPEATED practice of learning to be mindful  of my emotions has helped me feel more confident in managing my emotions during tough meetings or tense conversations
Practice builds confidence,
but only if you are practicing the right things. 
​✅Practicing the right things with the 3 steps:
✔️Set a goal Have a clear target of what you want to build confidence in or with.
✔️Identify the skill you need to learn Know the skill you need to practice to reach that goal?
✔️Then create a habit to practise it often!!!! The courage to practice will give you the competence, thus grow your confidence.
​You've got this my dear! I'm on your team cheering you on! Practice, practice, practice ? the right thing!
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    Kathy Archer

    Women leaders often hit a point where they find themselves in over their heads and wondering if they have what it takes to lead.
    ​In my online courses and coaching I teach them inner and outer tools to restore their lost confidence so they can move from surviving to thriving in both leadership and life.

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  • Home
  • Work With Me
    • The Training Library Membership Site
    • Leadership TRN for Women
    • Shake off your Leadership Blues
    • Create your Blueprint for Change
    • Leadership TRN for Teams
    • Team Webinars
    • Speaking
    • Book a Call
  • About Me
  • Free Resources
    • Free Worksheets
  • Blog
  • Mastering Confidence Book